Light Fixture

For my 8.5 month old Daughter Hazel, though she can’t read yet. 


When you were born it was almost unbelievable.
At one month you were absolutely beautiful.
At two months I was completely in love.
At three months I just couldn’t get enough.
At four I was starting to adore.
At five I just wanted to see you more.
At six you started getting character.
At seven I thought “why do I deserve her?”.
At eight months old you’re unbelievable again.
And when you turn 9 months old you’ll be my friend.

You’re growing so fast, every new day is quickly the past.

Never in my life have I been as happy and content as when your mom and I had you.
And every new day I’m surprised to learn that you expand my heart, you do.

God puts us through trials and pain, or sometimes just the slow lane.
But then he breaks your denial, shows you why you need rain, and proves you’re not insane.

He gives you reason to live.
He gives you reason to love.
He keeps our mind set on things above.

Life doesn’t get easier.
Life doesn’t somehow slow down and give in.
Through experience and effort we learn how to win.
But first, and most importantly, we learn what winning is.
Its about community, church, family, friends, and this:
It isn’t about money, attention, or fame.
It’s about loving your spouse and raising kids in your name.

There will always be some strange excuse to be mad.
Some overblown reaction to an experience gone bad.
But deep down where it matters, in the long term; big picture.
We have contentment in Christ, our hanging light fixture.

And Christ gave me you, to demonstrate that.
That he’s gracious, and loving, and will never change that.
And Christ gave you Me, to do my best to show you him.
That you might see him in me when your light’s looking dim.

2017 Recap

January 1, 2018…


Here’s to end of the greatest year of my Life.

It didn’t really hit me until late last night. We went to Cassie’s parents house at 9:30pm to hang out for New Years.

Steve was trying extra hard to just be a cool father-in-law. I about bit my tongue when I told him Cassie and I had nowhere else to be, that we could hang out till midnight. But seemed really happy to hear it, and recruited Alex and I to take a guys trip to get firewood. We jumped in the 15 passenger van they call “Beast”, and went across town to pick up some scrap pallets. It was super low key. I finally felt like they actually wanted me there. They weren’t trying to passively scare me away.


Back at the house we sat around a fire outback cracking dumb jokes, roasting marshmallows, listening to music and distant fireworks. Midnight approached and Tami insisted the married couples all kiss, so the twins did a countdown and Cassie gave me a quick peck. My only thought was like “oh.. We’re allowed to do this now..”

It hit me last night, and this morning. I just closed out the best year of my life at my In-laws house. It’s a new year.


I didn’t write nearly as much as I would have liked this year.. So I’ll have to just run through some highlights.




The most productive, the most exciting, the most complete year of my life.


In no particular order:


I got married.

Moved into what is basically my first ‘real’ apartment.

Went to Texas, twice.

Went to several concerts.

Published my first novel and a book of poems.

Started two new books.


Broke my toe.

Played in a competitive frisbee league.

Got really good at rock climbing.

Built my own rock wall.

Grew a lot closer to my own family.

Had gifts to give on Christmas.

Learned I have the best group of friends I could have ever asked for.

Core, Zech, Phil, Manny, My Brothers.


Kevin remodelled half his house.

Dani might work for Dutch Bros. HQ.

Elliott is a Cop.

Bethany already has character.

Cassie is the best Medical Assistant, ever.

I got a small raise.


We got a new 4Runner.

A handgun.

Full camping gear.

A great collection of climbing equipment.


The year was not perfect. But I would not ask for it to have been any different.




We slept in today.

I made Cassie Waffles and Coffee and served her in bed. Read a chapter of my Bible. Went for a 28 minute run, while listening to Ben Shapiro and finished it with some pull ups. I did the dishes and am now writing this at just past noon.


This year I have a bunch of cool stuff planned.

Frisbee League. Climbing. Camping. Family trip in January and February. Cassie’s birthday. Volleyball. Shooting. Wild Rogue Relay.


I don’t really do “resolutions” but if I had to set some goals. I want to train again like old times to get in shape for Frisbee and the Relay. I wanna keep climbing through the summer without a broken toe this year. I wanna eat more salad. I wanna drink more water. I wanna read my bible more. I wanna keep up on politics with Ben Shapiro. I wanna publish a few children’s books and work on the other novels.


I want to finish 2018 even closer to Cassie than I already am.


Nothing about 2017 would have been the same, had I broken up with her the year before.

I would have quit climbing. I would have never played frisbee. I would have stopped playing volleyball. I would have not sold my trailer. I would have not gotten an apartment. I would have not eaten salad. I would have not had gifts to give on christmas. Would not have been a good friend for my guys. Would not have made my parents proud. I would have not written half the poetry.


Here’s to Twenty-Seventeen, and the next Seventy Seven Years.


Praise God for pouring out blessings I was far from deserving. I am eternally grateful.