I Married my Best Friend

My wife has been super supportive since I told her I wanted to upload one video every week to my Youtube channel. She knows how much time it takes to film and edit alongside my full time job and a 9 month old child at home but She is seriously the best.

Last night I got home from work at 4:00pm and proceeded to edit my video from more than 5 hours. I only stopped to help with the baby, eat dinner, and put the baby to bed (I’m trying to do my part) but my wife with a baby in hand made homemade hamburgers from scratch, both the patties and the buns. Served them in front of an episode of Community (one of my top 5 favorite shows), and then let me go back to editing.

She then went and made chocolate chip brownies (also from scratch) and sat down beside me at our extra wide desk for the both of us. Looking over my shoulder she expressed how much she loved my videos, quietly put Falling in Reverse (one of my top 5 favorite bands) on shuffle, and opened up my laptop. Sitting beside me she played some League of Legends (one of my top 5 favorite video games).

I finished my video and ate a brownie while it exported and watched my wife finish her last game of the evening. She was eager to watch my newest vlog the moment it was done, and claims it’s my best one yet. I had her help me pick the thumbnail.

It’s days like yesterday that don’t have photos taken, or vlogs made, but they’re sometimes the one’s I cherish most. So I’m writing this to remember.

You can read my blog posts from 3 years ago. I never dreamed I’d be where I am today, and I couldn’t be happier.

Seriously CJ, I love you so much.

On Hold

Is writing worth it? Do my poems matter?

Will publishing another failure make me sadder?

Why put time into something I love if it never becomes a real thing?

I can keep my head in the water above but my body’s still swimming upstream.

The life I have now is already enough. I won’t die if I give up my dreams.

Adding an accolade would only be fluff when I’m already stretched at the seams.  

Is it really giving up if I never commit?

Is my self published work way too much to omit?

Do you really climb a mountain if you never summit?

When every day life keeps you down; you submit?

At what point does desire transform into action?

You strive and aspire to grow beyond faction.

You’re looking for a buyer, spread of word, and some traction.

But lighting that fire is all but a fraction.

Passion is rarely all it’ll take

And effort can barely preserve what’s at stake.  

You need motivation to keep up the drive.

A little inspiration to keep it alive.

But nobody knows to ask you about You.

Your back burner still is kept hidden from view

Until someone wanders across what you do,

And asks you when they can get something new.

Can you really tell them how it’s all on hold?  

How you wish you were driven but you’ve never been bold.

How your last four projects were all but out sold

How you’re feeling your dream is just childish and old?…

Maybe their intrigue was all that you needed?

Your love for your work may not be conceded

Effort and energy may not be depleted

Take one hint of hope and be not defeated.